Sunday, December 7, 2014

Day 23: combine and throw out

#23 Combine 21 + 22. Throw out.

Aaaah! More combining! Major internal resistance today. Maybe it's coming from my sore body, my burning shins. Or maybe it's the prompt. The past few days have been 20) remembering, 21) revisiting, 22) compiling. And now combining. These activities have been more difficult to approach than starting fresh with something new, which is weird. In the process of making a piece, one of my favorite parts is when a bit of material just starting to take shape. That involves remembering, revisiting compiling, combining. So why am I having to drag myself into it now? Again, maybe it's just the shins.

An obvious difference between the usual process and 100 days is that pulling things together is usually at least somewhat product oriented. I'm making something. And here I a am specifically not making anything. That's not particularly problematic on a day of improvisations. But for some reason the idea of "combine and throw out" makes me ask, why bother in the first place?

Getting up and moving is one solution to this problem. I did that. For a bit. And for brief flashes, movement made things self-evident. Or movement is self-evident. Or it doesn't require answers.

But also, I could feel that I wasn't so committed today as I crawled and fell and reached and gestured around my bedroom. (In the spirit of "throwing out", no video!) There is a lot rattling around from the past few days - plenty to draw from. Today it's scattered, and I couldn't quite gather it all up. I noticed that I have insecurity about how long to stick with something when improvising. It was particularly noticeable today, but it has been floating around through many of the past 22 days.

And now I am throwing what just happend out. It's gone.

No comments:

Post a Comment